You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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