i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
