Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
