This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
