is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
