I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
