i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
