It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
