Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
