not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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