it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize