I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
