all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
