dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
