No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
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All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man