I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town