thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
