So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.