I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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