yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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