Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
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I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
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Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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