He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
