So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
