just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
