Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
