I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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