Well douche your snatch and let's go!
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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