Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.