i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Dating After Heartbreak
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I understand Curling. That high.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?