real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Maybe he injected his testicle?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.