I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up