thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
