as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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