Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
