Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
