I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
