He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
