I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
