I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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