Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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