I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
