the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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