i just snorted my name. best moment ever
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
