I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
i believe in u and ur pee
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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