Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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