Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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