I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Randomize
