i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
