The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
What happened to fro yo and sex?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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