glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
