my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
