Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed