Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
