I've blown a few things in my day
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize