everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I can't turn off my feet"
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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