I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
