Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
