I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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