It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Even the bartender felt bad for me
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
