Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
