The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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