ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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