I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize