i just made my gag reflex go away.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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