I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
